


Gone, Gone, Gone

by TMW



Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 16:04:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3215204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TMW/pseuds/TMW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oozQ4yV__Vw">
    <strong>"Gone, Gone, Gone"</strong>
  </a>
  <br/><em>This is a fic I've been wanting to write for a while...pretty much ever since I saw this song was on </em>
  <a href="http://abiroux.tumblr.com/post/65402982235/shock-awe-playlist">the playlist for Shock & Awe.</a>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone, Gone, Gone

> _When life leaves you high and dry_   
> _I'll be at your door tonight_   
> _If you need help, if you need help._   
> _I'll shut down the city lights,_   
> _I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe_   
> _To make you well, to make you well._

“Why didn’t you call me yesterday and tell me you were sick, babe? I would’ve changed my flight.” Nick pulled a second quilt over Kelly’s shoulders and brushed his hair back from his forehead.

Kelly nuzzled into Nick’s palm with a faint groan. “Your hand’s cold. Feels good.”

“You’re burning up,” Nick said with a frown. He glanced at his watch and did the mental math at how long it would take him to get to and from a 24-hour pharmacy. “I’m going to go get you some meds.”

“I’m fine,” Kelly said in a tired voice, his dulled gray eyes fluttering closed.

Nick snorted. “You’re a damn liar, son.” He leaned over and pressed his lips to Kelly’s feverish temple. “I’ll be back soon. Sleep.”

Kelly mumbled something unintelligible and was asleep before Nick had even finished putting his shoes on.

Fifteen minutes later, Nick pulled Kelly’s truck into a parking space in the near empty parking lot of the local pharmacy. He frowned as he climbed out and headed to the door.

_Closed for inventory_

“Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he muttered. He peered through the glass and knocked on it.

“We’re closed, man,” a man said as he wandered past with a clipboard.

“I just need cold medicine,” Nick called back.

“There’s another pharmacy on the other side of town,” the guy answered.

“My boyfriend’s really fucking sick, dude, come on.” Nick held up both hands so he wouldn’t look threatening. “Look, I’ll spend a hundred bucks here tonight and buy you a six-pack from your own cooler. That’ll help your inventory, won’t it?”

The guy paused, eyebrows furrowing as he considered Nick’s offer.

Nick sighed. “Please. He’s running a fever.”

After a moment, the guy came over and unlocked the door. “What’re his symptoms?” he asked as Nick hustled inside.

Ten minutes later and a hundred dollars lighter, Nick walked out with cold medicine, ice packs, a full heating blanket, Epsom salts, a new humidifier with some of that vick’s vapor shit, and several extra large size bags of M&Ms. 

> _When enemies are at your door_   
> _I'll carry you away from war_   
> _If you need help, if you need help._   
> _Your hope dangling by a string_   
> _I'll share in your suffering_   
> _To make you well, to make you well._

“Get down!”

Kelly had a half a second to react before a hand grabbed the back of his collar and yanked him flush to the dirt. He slammed hard and winced as something on his belt jutted into his stomach.

He heard whistling and instinctively covered his head. The ground hummed underneath him, shaking and shuddering with the force of continuous percussive blasts.

“We’re cut off!” Nick yelled over the explosions.

“Where’s Six?” Kelly yelled back as he tried to take mental stock of his body and check for injuries.

Nick shook his head, a grim expression on his face. Kelly nodded, tamping down the very real fear they’d lost the remainder of their team when the little village they’d been exploring was attacked by unfriendlies.

Kelly’s radio crackled in his ear and he could barely make out Owen’s voice over the static and explosions. He glanced at Nick to see if he’d heard. Nick’s brows were lowered as he listened, his eyes twitching a little bit as he concentrated and formed a plan as Owen gave out coordinates for a new evac zone. Out of habit, his eyes skated down the rest of Nick’s body, checking for visible injuries.

“You’re bleeding,” Kelly accused. He pushed at Nick’s shoulder, moving his arm out of the way so he could examine the spreading stain on Nick’s ribs.

“I’m fine.” Nick swatted Kelly’s hands. “Put a band-aid on it.

“Band-aids don’t cover bullet holes, asshole.” Kelly smacked the back of Nick’s helmet and went back to checking the grazes across Nick’s ribcage.

Another whistle, this one closer, was the only warning Kelly had before the world erupted into light and sound and heat. He barely registered a body hitting his and shoving him into the dirt, enclosing him in muffled darkness. He inhaled dust and coughed so hard he thought he was going to break a rib. Pain lanced up his left leg. He gritted his teeth against the burning sensation and pushed at Nick.

“Nick? You alive, bud?”

“Thanks for softening my fall,” Nick muttered in a tight voice.

“You hurt?” Kelly asked.

Nick shifted slowly, hissing in pain. “Maybe a little more than a minute ago. You?”

“My leg,” Kelly groaned. He pulled himself out from under Nick as the other man shifted, squirming out into bright sunlight and utter silence. Breathing hard, he glanced around, his senses on high alert. “Where’d everyone go?”

Nick shook his head and bent over Kelly’s leg. A cut on his forehead bled freely and he had a wicked gash up one arm. The stain on his ribs had spread further.

“Nick,” Kelly said.

Nick grinned at Kelly, the sight a little macabre through the dust and blood coating his face. “Your leg’s fucked up, dude.”

“Why are you smiling about it? You get to carry my ass out of here.” Kelly leaned against a large piece of rubble and pressed the radio to his throat. “You assholes out there?”

“What’s up, Doc?” Ty’s voice crackled through.

“That was funny the first three times you said it. Not the fifty-seventh.” Kelly grimaced as Nick tied off the bleeding gash on the side of his calf.

“Doc’s down,” Nick said.

“Can you make it to the coordinates?” Ty asked.

Nick grunted an affirmative and scooped Kelly up in his arms. Kelly flailed and protested. “Put me down. I can fucking hop.”

“All right, hopalong.” Nick set him down. Kelly slid his arm over Nick’s shoulders, digging his fingers into the edges of Nick’s vest.

“What a sorry pair we make,” Kelly joked through clinched teeth.

“Oohrah,” Nick muttered with a grin as they limped toward the evac site.

> _Give me reasons to believe_   
> _That you would do the same for me._   
>   
> _And I would do it for you, for you._   
> _Baby, I'm not moving on_   
> _I'll love you long after you're gone._   
> _For you, for you._   
> _You will never sleep alone._   
> _I'll love you long after you're gone_   
> _And long after you're gone, gone, gone._

Kelly crawled into bed, holding his aching side. That was it. Sidewinder was gone. Deployed.

Without him.

He’d said his goodbyes. He’d cried when he told himself he wouldn’t. He’d given Zane a hug and his phone number. Then he’d taken the very long and very lonely flight back to Colorado.

Kelly reached for Nick’s pillow. It still smelled like him and a rock lodged itself in the back of Kelly’s throat. The corners of his eyes burned and prickled but he couldn’t honestly say why he was so upset. Was it because Sidewinder was deployed without him? That he wasn’t there to stitch them back together? Was it because _Nick_ was gone without him?

D. All of the above.

One tear made a bid for freedom, rolling down his temple and back into his hair. He sniffed and took a shuddering breath. He had no idea if Nick would come back to him. He didn’t know where they were going. How long they’d be gone. What they were being ordered to do.

What they’d be like when they got back.

His boys.

His brothers.

His lover.

A desperate sort of laugh burst out of Kelly’s chest at the thought. He was the left-behind boyfriend. The military spouse staying behind while the marine left to fight for flag and country. It was an odd twist of fate that led to this role and he wasn’t entirely certain he belonged in it.

Sure, he and Nick’d had some fun the last few days. They’d done stuff Kelly never in a million years would’ve imagined himself doing. But he’d loved every second. He wanted more.

He wanted _Nick._

An ache bloomed in his chest that had nothing to do with the still-healing bullet wound. He pressed a hand to his sternum and squeezed his eyes shut. He had to believe they’d be okay with out him. Worrying wouldn’t do anyone any good.

They were Sidewinder. And even though their numbers had diminished over the years, they were still the goddamn best recon team in the marines. Kelly would stake his cabin on that fact.

He took a shuddering breath and stared at the ceiling while clutching Nick’s pillow tightly to his chest.

“Come home,” he whispered to the starry night out the window. “Come home in one piece, you damn Irish son of a bitch.”

> _When you fall like a statue_   
> _I'm gon' be there to catch you_   
> _Put you on your feet, you on your feet._   
> _And if your well is empty_   
> _Not a thing will prevent me._   
> _Tell me what you need, what do you need?_

“Nick!”

Nick punched open the screen door with his fist and stomped onto the front porch. He breathed in and out through his nose, trying to calm the roiling storm of fury in his chest. His knuckles ached and his hands shook. The trembling rolled up his arms and down his back, shaking and rattling every nerve in his body.

“Irish,” Kelly’s voice drifted over from the doorway, calm and soothing. The same tone he’d always adopt during one of their panic attacks, or a nightmare, or when one of them was thrashing around from pain.

Nick inhaled deeply and blinked. “Sorry you had to see that.”

Kelly stepped up next to him, shoulder to shoulder, and watched the sun set over the Boston skyline. “Well, to be completely honest, when you asked me to come home with you for Christmas, I sort of expected this.”

Nick glanced at him sharply.

Kelly shrugged and smiled. “You’ve dropped enough hints over the years.”

Nick tugged his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know why I even thought it would be any different.”

“Because they’re your family and _logically_ you know what to expect, but your heart decides to be a naïve brat about it.”

Nick huffed a laugh and slid his arm around Kelly’s shoulders, the tension seeping out of him by degrees. “Thank you for being here, Kels. I don’t…I don’t know that I would’ve stopped hitting him if you hadn’t grabbed me.”

Kelly patted Nick’s chest. “You would’ve stopped, Nicko.”

Nick pressed his nose to Kelly’s hair, his eyes shutting for a long second. How he’d earned this sort of unswerving loyalty from Kelly or any of the Sidewinders, he’d never know. But he was so immensely grateful for it.

“What do you need, Nick?” Kelly asked quietly. His arm snaked around Nick’s waist.

Nick sighed and lifted his head. “Chinese.”

“What?” Kelly frowned up at him.

Nick laughed. “I need Chinese food and a beer.”

Kelly nodded seriously as if that made absolute sense in the light of it being Christmas Eve in Boston. “All right. Let’s go get Chinese.”

> _I surrender honestly._   
> _You've always done the same for me._   
>   
> _So I would do it for you, for you._   
> _Baby, I'm not moving on,_   
> _I'll love you long after you're gone._   
> _For you, for you._   
> _You will never sleep alone._   
> _I'll love you long after you're gone_   
> _And long after you're gone, gone, gone._

Kelly woke up with a start, his eyes snapping open to an unfamiliar room. He frowned at the ceiling and looked around, a faint groan escaping his lips when he moved. The aches in his body brought back last night’s activities with a smile and he looked over at his bedmate.

Nick was _home_.

For good. This wasn’t another 48-hour leave. This was _done_ with the Marines and _home_ for good. Sure they still lived in separate states and had some finagling to do about that but Kelly knew it would work itself out over time.

Nick’s eyes were already open and focused on him. “Morning,” he said in a scratchy voice.

Kelly smiled and rolled closer, snuggling into Nick’s broad chest with a hum. “Is it already?”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Nick’s fingers drifted up and down Kelly’s spine.

Kelly closed his eyes and listened to Nick’s heartbeat. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

Nick laughed softly. “I’m finding it hard to believe myself.”

Kelly slid his thigh in between Nick’s legs and pressed closer. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Nick murmured.

“Don’t go anywhere dangerous without me again,” Kelly said against Nick’s sternum.

“No promises,” Nick said, but there was a smile in his voice.

> _You're my back bone._   
> _You're my cornerstone._   
> _You're my crutch when my legs stop moving._   
> _You're my head start._   
> _You're my rugged heart._   
> _You're the pulse that I've always needed._   
> _Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating._   
> _Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating._   
> _Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating._   
> _Like a drum my heart never stops beating..._

Nick pushed open the door to the bunkhouse and stopped short at the sight of Kelly sitting on his bunk staring down at a piece of paper in his hands. He sniffled once and glanced up with shining eyes that he quickly wiped with the back of his hand.

“Hey, Irish.”

“Kels? What’s wrong? What happened?” Nick closed the door and headed over to him, sitting next to him on the bunk. Worry streaked through him. Kelly was unflappable. He was all smiles and sunshine nearly 100% of the time. To see him upset shook Nick to his core and tipped his world off-kilter.

Kelly cleared his throat and gave Nick a smile through his watery eyes. “It’s so dumb.”

“Not if it’s making you cry, man. Talk to me.”

Kelly handed Nick the letter and slid his hands between his knees, staring at the floor between his boots. Nick watched him for a second then flicked his attention to the hand-written note. A quick scan told him immediately what had broken Kelly’s heart.

“Oh, Kels…I’m sorry, man,” Nick said softly. He set the letter to one side and pulled Kelly into a hug, tucking the man’s head under his chin.

“She was a great dog. You might’ve liked her.” Kelly’s voice was muffled and cracked, wavering around the edges. “I promised her we’d play when I got back from this round. I didn’t even know she was that sick.”

“Sometimes it happens fast,” Nick murmured. He stroked Kelly’s hair softly and rocked a little. “It sounds like it was pretty advanced. They did the best thing for her.”

Kelly nodded against Nick’s chest. “I know. Still hurts.”

“I know, babe.” Nick closed his eyes. His heart cracked apart in his chest for the pain his brother and friend was slogging through. He tightened his hold. “It’ll be okay.”

“I just wish I could’ve said goodbye to her. Told her I love her.”

Nick rested his cheek on the top of Kelly’s head. “You did and she knew. I promise you she knew. Anyone loved by you knows it completely without you ever saying a word.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

> _For you, for you._   
> _Baby, I'm not moving on._   
> _I'll love you long after you're gone._   
> _For you, for you._   
> _You will never sleep alone._   
> _I'll love you long after you're gone._

Kelly paid for the coffee at the airport kiosk and headed back to where Nick was peering at the monitors. “Flight still on time?”

Nick nodded and pointed to the listing for nonstop from Boston to Denver. “You got about thirty minutes.”

Kelly nodded, the same familiar melancholy settling in his chest at this moment every time they had to part for one of them to return home. “I should probably get through security.”

Nick smiled at him but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Probably should.” He slid his hands over Kelly’s cheeks and pulled him in for a soft kiss. Kelly wrapped one hand in Nick’s t-shirt, tugging him closer. He _hated_ this part. Hated the goodbye. Hated that he’d go to bed alone tonight and wake up to an empty cabin.

It never used to bother him before. In some ways, he still loved having his own space. And he knew Nick loved his privacy on the boat. But…there was another layer to it now. A layer that bore longing and sadness with it every time a _goodbye_ was uttered.

Kelly nipped at Nick’s lower lip as they pulled apart. Nick rested his forehead against Kelly’s, his eyes closed and lines between his brows. Kelly’s heart panged. For some reason, this moment felt _more_. He didn’t know if it was just getting harder to part ways each time or if he’d missed something during his visit this time around.

“I love you,” Nick whispered softly.

Kelly smiled and smooshed his nose against Nick’s. “I love you too.” He swallowed hard and pulled back. “I should get going.”

“Text me when you land,” Nick said. He said the same thing every time.

Kelly tapped two fingers to his brow in a lazy salute. “Yes, Staff Sergeant.”

Nick grinned at him, his smile making Kelly want to cancel his flight and hiring a moving company to bring all his shit to Boston. Kelly hitched his backpack higher and spun away before he did just that.

> _For you, for you._   
> _Baby, I'm not moving on,_   
> _I'll love you long after you're gone._   
> _For you, for you._   
> _You will never sleep alone._   
> _I'll love you long, long after you're gone._

Nick watched Kelly head toward security, his heart sinking with every step Kelly took away from him. He hated this part. Hated saying goodbye to Kelly. The times he spent with Kelly were some of the best of his life and not just because of regular, hot sex. Kelly was life and love and happiness and fucking sunshine. He made Nick feel like he was wrapped in a warm, giggly blanket.

A blanket that would rip your throat out if you said so much as a cross word to Nick.

But that was his Kelly.

_His Kelly_.

The back and forth…one week here, two weeks there, a month apart because of reasons, a visit cut short for even stupider reasons…it was wearing at his soul. Chipping away at the edges of his resolve to just let this all play out on its own.

Well, where was the rulebook that said they couldn’t redirect things on their own? Where did it state that they had to spend a certain amount of time doing the long-distance thing before they could do the _together always_ thing?

Nick’s heart pounded as he considered the ramifications. What if Kelly wasn’t ready? What if Kelly was content to go back and forth? What if he didn’t want to change things right now?

_You’re never going to know unless you ask, asshole._

Nick blew out a shaky breath as Kelly approached the corner leading to the security lines.

_Now or never, dude_.

“Kelly!" 

> _Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating._   
> _Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating._   
> _Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating._   
> _Like a drum my heart never stops beating for you._

Kelly stopped, spinning around as he heard Nick call for him. He frowned at Nick jogging after him and glanced down at his person, thinking maybe he’d forgotten something. He opened his mouth to ask when Nick slammed into him, mouth on his, hands in his hair, body pushing his against the nearest wall.

He dimly registered someone wolf whistling at them as they kissed but all he could manage was a litany of _Nick_ in his head as Nick kissed him as if he wanted to devour him whole.

“Nick, what?” he gasped.

“When you get home, start packing,” Nick said quickly between kisses. “Pack and I’ll come out to see you in a week.”

“Pack. Pack what?” Kelly pushed at his chest, trying to get some air and thinking room. “Nick…”

“Move in with me,” Nick breathed against his lips. “I can’t do this anymore. I need you here, Kels.”

Kelly gaped at him, blinking rapidly. His heart crawled into his throat and wrapped around his windpipe. Nick’s crystal green eyes searched his, hesitant and unsure but pleading all the same.

“Move in with you?” Kelly whispered.

“If you want to,” Nick said softly.

“Hell yes,” Kelly said in a rush. A grin pulled his cheeks up and he wrapped his arms around Nick’s neck and kissed him with everything he had in him. “Are you sure about this?”

“I love you, Doc,” Nick said. He ghosted his fingertips over Kelly’s cheekbone. “I’ve never been with anyone that feels so goddamn right before, and I don’t want to keep watching you board a plane over and over again. I can’t. I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to cook you breakfast. I want to take you to baseball games. I want to teach you how to drive the boat without damaging anything.”

“That was one time,” Kelly muttered.

Nick smiled, his eyes shining. “I love you so goddamn much.”

Kelly smiled back, his stomach doing flips and his eyes pricking at the edges. The stupid jackass was going to make him cry in the middle of the fucking airport. “I love you.” He pressed his forehead to Nick’s. “So much.”

> _And long after you're gone, gone, gone.  
>  I'll love you long after you're gone, gone, gone.  
> _


End file.
